Let's face it, relationships are a pain in the arse at the best of times, so when your fella hits that mid-life crisis stage and starts dying his eyebrows, going to raves in luminous lycra and using words like 'cool' and 'shit hot man', or your missus suddenly seems to have pmt 24/7 and everything in life is your fault, it's understandable that you need to whinge at someone...look no further...

Problem 1: Cybersex????

Q. Dear Foxyloveshoot,
                                     I've been talking to a woman on the net for about a year now and my feelings for her are becoming quite strong. We spoken many times on the phone and are now discussing meeting up? Do you think this is a good idea so soon, should I wait a little longer and find out if she feels the same about me or should I go for it?

A. What????How the hell can you have strong feelings for someone you've never even met??I think you need to get out and meet someone in a normal situation. This bird could have a moustache and a body riddled with stretch marks and varicose veins for all you know (bet you wouldn't have strong feelings for her then would you) On the other hand you could also be covered in stretch marks and varicose veins...which is probably why you're chatting some poor defenseless woman up on the net. So in answer to your question...I don't really care.

Problem 2. Where's Michael Douglas when you need him?

Q. Hi Foxy,
             About a 3 Months ago I decided enough was enough and packed up my bags ready to move abroad. I quit my job and then had to break the news to my girlfriend. I did love her but I'm only young and it seemed the right thing to do. We said we'd keep in touch and then I left for Ayia Napa. I found a job straight away and was lovin' it although my ex was ringing me constantly with the hopes that I was going back to her. Anyway, I got a phonecall from her one night saying she was pregnant and was keeping the baby. I'm not a sell out and take care of my responsibilities so I came back home to find the whole thing was a lie (although she swears the test said positive). My girlfriend and I are back together, but I no longer love her. I'm just afraid to leave her as I'm not sure she's mentally stable.

A. I feel for you on this one I really do. You sound like a top bloke who just wanted to live his life and unfortunately got stuck with a psychotic obsessive bird. Basically my friend there comes a time in our lifes...this being it...that we need to put ourselves first. A relationship with this women could never work as there is no love or trust, so my advice is run little man run!!! Get on the next plane and get as far away from the rabbit boiler as you possibly can. Trust me, she won't do anything daft...she was just using her devious, lying, whorebag ways to manipulate you.

Problem 3: Case of the green eyed monster

Q. Dear Miss Foxyloveshoot,
                                        My wife is quite insecure and has an obsession with me cheating on her, which I never have. It's got to the point where if I say I'm off out with the lads she cries and has a fit, so most of the time I give in and stay in with her. It's making me miserable, so now she's complaining that I'm unhappy with her. I can't win! I'm not sure how to handle the situation.

A. It seems your wife is suffering from a condition known as 'jealous paranoid cow'. Does your wife go out with her friends or is she a bit of a hermit. The only solution to this is to tell her how you feel. You need your space, and time with your mates doesn't mean your shagging everything that breathes. However, when you are with her, make her feel special, treat her with gifts and romantic nights. (Although I do have to warn you us women are fucked up creature and the minute you start buying her gifts, she'll accuse you of having a guilty conscience for cheating on her!!! so basically no, you can't win. Sorreeee!!! :o)