1.The Love Dress

A woman goes over to her son's house and walks in to find her daughter-in-law sitting in a chair, butt naked. The mother-in-law shrieks, “What the hell are you doing?”
“I'm wearing my love dress,” responds the daughter-in-law, “We haven't made love in a while, so I wore it.”
So the mother-in-law says, “Hm, maybe I should try that.”
She goes home to find her husband isn't back from work yet, so she undresses and lays herself on the sofa. Two hours go by when finally she hears her husband's car. He walks in the front door and jumps back, aghast at the sight before him
“Jesus women, what the hell are you doing?” He yells.
“I'm wearing my love dress,” says the wife.
“Well,” responds the husband, “it needs a fucking good ironing.”

2.Clever Mule

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who demanded an inspection of the place. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer's donkey suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing her instantly.
At the funeral service a few days later, the farmer stood at the front of the church greeted people as they passed. The Vicar noticed that whenever a woman would whisper something to the farmer, he would nod his head "Yes" and whisper a reply. Whenever a man walked by and whispered to the farmer, he would shake his head, "No" and mumble a reply. Curious, the Vicar later asked the farmer what that was all about.

The farmer replied, ''The women would say, 'What a terrible tragedy' and I would nod my head and say, 'Yes, it was.' The men would ask, 'You wanna sell that mule?' and I would shake my head and say, 'Can't. It's all booked up for a year.'"

3. Halitosis

I'm not saying my mother-in laws breath smells, but when she breathes out her teath duck

4. New member of the family

One evening, a man was at home eating peanuts and watching the footie. He'd toss them in the air, and then catch them with his mouth. In the middle of catching a peanut, his wife asked him a question. As he turned to answer her, the peanut fell into his ear. He tried several times to get the peanut out, but only succeeded in pushing it deeper into his ear.
His wife came to help him, and after several hours of trying to remove the peanut, they became concerned and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with a male friend. They told their daughter and her the young man about the problem, the young man said he could get the peanut out. He told the father to sit down. The young man then shoved two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard. When the father blew, the peanut flew out. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing and the daughter brought the young man to the kitchen for something to eat. Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father.

"That's wonderful. He's so smart! I wonder what he's gonna be when he grows up!"

Theman looks up at his wife and says:

"From the smell of his fingers, our son-in-law."